THE STORM IS CALM

So a big , big , big update .............................................................................................................

 AFTER EIGHT MONTHS OF QUITTING MY PREVIOUS  JOB , I GOT A FULL TIME JOB WITH BETTER PAY AND BENEFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man theses eight months have been truly hard and very exhausting , without God I would have not made it through this storm!

Even though this was one of the hardest times in my life , I have no regrets quitting my previous job.

I have to give a huge shoutout to my wife who truly stood by me and making sure we stayed afloat , LOVE YOU BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also want to give a big thanks to my connect church family for keeping grounded during this rough season in my life !

Also a big shoutout to my folks for praying for my wife and I during this rough time in our life . 

So now I want to share some lessons I have learned and what I am still struggling with .

1.  Before and during this rough a couple of people broke my spirit and killed my dreams. 

You might saying why are you allowing these people to have that type of power over you?

I wish I could answer you but 1. I don't really have an answer and 2. these are good people and it is best I hold my tongue. I have learned to keep my dreams to myself and to accept my predestined place in this world.

2. I have a great support system and need to lean on them more often !

3.  I have limited skills , hopefully at this new job I can add new skills to my skill set.

4.  I need to really seek out some Christian counseling because I will admit my relationship with Jesus is a little bruised right now.   

5.  Me going to to the gym has been a great asset to me staying sane during theses last two months.

As you can see I am still struggling with some stuff  but I am going to be more than okay!

This is all part of growth and were I am at right now .

I leave you with this encouraging quote :

  

A Healthier Me Update / Leeman's Song Of The Week

So again I don't have a huge update on my health , so again i am combining a Healthier Me Update and Leemans's Song Of The Week blog entry together !


Healthier Me Update :  Well I have lost two more pounds and I have shaved three minutes off my mile on the treadmill !
I have started doing DDP YOGA and I have noticed already I am more flexible then I have been in awhile .
I have so far lost ten pounds  and currently I am at 300 pounds .
My goal by the end of december is to 250 pounds .





   

LEEMAN'S SONG OF THE WEEK!

This week's song is Pusha t's new diss track  The Story Of Adidon !

Bruh.........................................................................................................................................

Pusha went for the jugular !  oooooh Drake is going to have to do his homework after this one!

I can't believe Pusha took it there ! This beef on wax is going be fun this summer !

   

THREE THINGS THAT ARE BUGGING LEEMAN RIGHT NOW PART 3

1.  Waiting to see if I get this job !!!!!!!

I had interview on monday with a bank call center that pays really really well.
I was hoping to know if I got the job today but looks i will have to wait until tomorrow.
I am really stressed about this because  I have been looking for eight months and I have little success/
One thing I have learned in this tough season is to take people's advice on finding work with grain of salt  , about 98% of the advice that has been given to me about finding work has been a flop.
I am not sure what I'll do if I don't get this job !



2.  NFL AND THE ANTHEM

So now the NFL is forcing their players to stand for the anthem , is it because they truly respect our country and the military ?   HELL TO THE NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They NFL made this decision because it was in their best financial interest to force players to stand up for the anthem. Key thing here , the only thing the NFL cares about is making money off their players at any cost . 


3.  Calories!!!!!!!!

So with this new me being cautious about how many calories I take in a day has been rough.
I have been trying to stay in the range of  1200 -1400 calories a day , I have successful with that range but i have had days when I have gone over .
I just wish it was easier to lose weight but I know with the hard work I have been doing , that will eventually pay off.  Next monday I will give you more of an update on my health.

LEEMAN'S TOP TEN SONGS AS OF RIGHT NOW

SO I THOUGHT INSTEAD OF DOING LEEMAN'S SONG OF THE WEEK , THAT I WOULD SHARE MY TOP TEN SONG'S AS OF RIGHT NOW.
I SAY AS OF RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY TOP EN SONGS IS ALWAYS CHANGING !
SO LET'S GET THIS PARTY JUMPIN!


10.FEEL IT STILL BY  PORTUGAL, THE MAN

PORTUGAL, THE MAN IS ONE MY NEW FAVORITE BANDS !
I HAD HEARD SOME OF MUSIC BEFORE BUT I DID NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM UNTIL FEEL IT STILL CAME OUT. PLEASE GIVE THIS BAND A LISTEN OR TWO

9.  WHO KILLED SHADY? BY GRIZZY HENDRIX

A COUPLE DAYS AGO THIS SHOWED UP IN MY YOUTUBE FEED , BRUH.................

GRIZZY GOES HARD ! THIS SONG IS BANANAS!!!!

CAN NOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT THIS DOPE RAPPER  DOES IN THE FUTURE!

  

8.  CATERPILLAR BY ROYCE DA 5'9 FEAT EMINEM  , KING GREEN

BRUH .......... DUDE............. YO......................   THIS IS ........ STRAIGHT FIRE...................

BEEN A FAN OF ROYCE DA 5'9 FOR AWHILE AND ALWAYS DELIVERS WITH 100% DOPE MUSIC . I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU CHECK OUT ROYCE DA 5'9 !

  

7.   HEADSTRONG BY SAVIOR 

ONE OF MY FAVORITE YOUTUBE CHANNELS IS DREAMBOUND RECORDS, THEY HAVE TONS OF GREAT BANDS .

THIS SHOWED UP IN MY NEWS FEED IN APRIL , SUCH A GREAT SONG AND I LOVE SAVIOURS SOUND !

 

6. CRY FOR YOU BY LECRAE FEAT TAYLOR HILL

CRY FOR YOU WAS THE FIRST SONG OF THE WEEK AND I'M STILL LISTENING TO THIS BEAUTIFUL SONG .

LECRAE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE RAPPERS OF ALL TIME BECAUSE HE IS SO REAL .

HE GETS A LOT OF UNNECESSARY HATE FROM FELLOW CHRISTIAN RAPPERS , WHICH IS SAD  BUT HE KEEPS GOING , WHICH IS WHY I LOVE LECRAE.

  

5.  SURVIVOR BY ZACH WILLIAMS 

LOVE ZACH WILLIAMS AND THIS SONG !

THIS SONG HAS UPLIFT ME WITH WHAT I HAVE GOING THROUGH FOR THE PAST 8 MONTHS . I ALSO LOVE ZACH WILLIAMS SONG CHAIN BREAKER !

   

4. GARMENTS BY CORY ASBURY 

THIS MY FAVORITE WORSHIP SONG RIGHT NOW !

COREY ASBURY , WHO SOME OF YOU KNOW HIM  BY HIS SONG RECKLESS LOVE , IN MY OPINION IS ONE THE BEST WORSHIP ARTIST TODAY.  COREY ASBURY TRULY UNDERSTANDS GOD'S HEART !

  

3.  GOTTA LIVE BY TEDASHII FEAT .  JORDAN FELIZ 

THIS SONG CAME OUT TODAY AND I AM LOVING IT !

I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO TEDASHII SINCE 2010 , HE ALWAYS BRINGS THE FIRE TO HIS SONGS !

2.  ZOMBIE BY BAD WOLVES 

THIS HAS TO BE THE TOP COVER SONG OF 2018!

BAD WOLVES HAVE BROUGHT MORE LIFE TO THE CRANBERRIES CLASSIC ZOMBIE!

LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING MORE FROM BAD WOLVES !

1.  GOING THRU HELL BY STYLES P

GOING THRU HELL IS MY FAVORITE TRACK OFF G-HOST !

STYLES P IS ONE MY FAVORITE RAPPERS OF ALL TIME !

YOU NEED TO CHECK OUT G-HOST NOW !

A VLOG ON RACISM

So I belong to a group on FaceBook called Thinking Out Loud , an each day there is a theme.
Today's theme in the group is cultural appreciation day, so I have decided to do a blog/vlog on Racism. 
So here is is my vlog on Racism , I hope you learn something and grow from this vlog .

DEAR MR. CHRISTIAN

I have been waiting to write this letter but was afraid to write this because of backlash I might get and having to deal with ignorant Christians . But  you know what , I don't care anymore!

Leeman's definition of a Mr. Christian: " A Mr. Christian is a man or woman who say they are a Christian but in reality they are a modern day Pharisee .  They have head knowledge but lack compassion and  don't understand the true meaning of grace .  A pastor who is a Mr. Christian  makes man made rules for his congregation. Theses rules are not biblical but  a Mr. Christian pastor will scare you into believing they are. A Mr. Christian pastor has to have his service organized to perfection  and tries to limit the movement of the Holy Spirit.   A Mr. Christian will bully you into believing his or her theology."

Dear Mr. Christian ,

Mr. Christian , I have gone too long with out addressing you , an as Ricky would say to Lucy , you got some explaining to do !!

Mr. Christian , the reason I am addressing you now ,  after so much hate for the worship song Reckless Love by Cory Asbury , I knew I needed to write this letter to you.

Mr. Christian, you decided to whine and complain like a child because a worship song said God's Love was reckless .   How can you not see how some people might see Gods love as reckless ?

Think about my testimony, I was a drug addict, a drug dealer , and a alcoholic , yet when I surrendered my life to Christ ,  Christ said Yes and healed me of my brokeness !

 That is reckless because I deserved death but Christ chose to save me ! 

If you are going to pick apart every new worship song , then be honest about the worship songs you like , Cause I could point a few from back in the day that are not biblical , but not going to because then I would be like you.

  Mr. Christian,  You say love people but when they come to your church the first time , you either ignore them  until they answer altar to give there lives to Christ  .  Or you don't ignore them and  you try to convert them before you even ask their name .

Here is some friendly advice , greet new people to your church with a smile , eye contact , and a firm handshake.  Introduce yourself   , ask their name , get to know them , and maybe offer to take them out to eat !

New people should able to come to your church anxiety free , it should not feel like a job interview.

Mr. Christian , this more to white Mr. Christians , You let politics become too much of your identity !

The Republican party is not a denomination In Christianity!

I'm all for standing up against abortion or standing up for  a biblical marriage, but when you sound like a Fox News commentator from the pulpit, you might want to take break and take a good look at yourself  and you relationship with Christ .  Don't get me wrong , there are times when politics needs to be addressed but in my opinion, should be on a limited basis.  

To my white Mr. Christians, do you realise you are pushing away black Christians with you spreading the lie that racism does not exist anymore in this country ? How can you turn the other way when cops beat and kill black people ?! How can turn the other way while your President spews racist propaganda on twitter ?   An yet you say this president is saved ? How?!

It is time for us white Christians to stand with our black brother and sisters in Christ !

In conclusion,  I could go on keep calling you out on sins but I am want show you mercy and grace that you refuse to show others . 

   Please take this letter to heart an repent and change your mindset!

I want you to know Mr. Christian , I love you and that's why I wrote this letter to you!

Love,

Brian Luke Leeman

If we are focused on rule keeping, if we are focused on earning God's acceptance through our efforts, if we are focused on trying to meet the convictions and standards of others, God becomes a gloomy killjoy and the vibrant relationship we desire with Him becomes dull, distant and difficult to bear. As we spin the plates of legalism, our Christian walk increasingly becomes a burden with the continual addition of another plate. And to keep the plates spinning, we'll focus more on the plates, our legalistic rulebook, than our intimate and exciting and joyful walk with the living God.-Randy Smith

          

          

A Leeman Healthier Then Me Update / Leeman's Song Of The Week

So this week I am combining My healthier me update and y song of the week , because there is not much to update on my health.

So starting with my health update , I did not gain or lose any weight in the past 2 weeks , frustrating but I have solutions to step up my game .
I recently got DDP YOGA , I have been doing push ups , squats, and sit ups at home to add to my exercise , an I will be going for walks.
So thats my update on my health , hoping to update you guys in two weeks that I am under 300 pounds.






This week's song is from one of my favorite rap groups Twiztid !

I started listening to Twiztid in 2004 during my freshmen year of high school , Twiztid's music made feel accepted,  an that I could be me .
First song I heard from Twiztid was We Don't Die , It was different but that's what made me fall in love with Twiztid's music . Here is a little bio on Twiztid !:

Twiztid is an American hip hop group from Detroit, Michigan. Formed in 1997, Twiztid is composed of Jamie Spaniolo and Paul Methric, who perform under the respective personas of Jamie Madrox and Monoxide. Spaniolo and Methric are former members of the group House of Krazees, which disbanded in 1997 a year after the duo's departure, they released their debut album in 1997.

Twiztid performs a style of horrorcore rap and have released 11 studio albums, 10 EP's, 8 compilation albums and 1 mixtape. (wiki)

So here is The Deep End By Twiztid Feat. Caskey:

A LETTER TO MY MOM

This Sunday is Mothers day , so I thought it would be cool to brag on my mom!

DEAR MOM

Hey mom ! I thought I would take some time to tell you how much I appreciate you.

Mom, you have been my rock since day one !

Mom , you are a lot stronger then you realize !

Mom, thank you for praying for me when I wasn't living right !

Mom, Thank you for making me go to church when I did not want to !

Mom , Thank you for kicking me out in 2008 , that was the start of a wake up call I needed! 

Mom, Thank you for teaching me not to give up on people !

Mom, thank you for encouraging me to read and making me a book worm !

In closing, Mom , I hope I have made you proud and I love you so much !

The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the heavenly Father. Samuel Taylor Coleridge

   

THIS STORM WILL NOT LAST FOREVER

So for those read my blog and watched vlog yesterday about my depression and bringing awareness to the struggle of depression,well today I want to share the hope I have and the source of my hope .
An I am going to start off with a short story called Storms Don't Last Forever .

Storms Don't Last Forever 

Luke and his Father are supplies men for the nearby villages surrounded by the ocean

The only way Luke and his Father could deliver the supplies was by boat .

So one morning Luke and his Father shipped out to deliver to a village that desperately needed supplies but was far out past were they normally deliver.

Luke was incredibly nervous but did not want his Father to know he was nervous .

Two hours into the trip and almost half way there , the clouds got pitch black and it started to storm .

Waves were crashing into the boat very fast , the wind made it hard for Luke and his Father to move .

Lighting was striking every 2 mins , Luke began to panic, He thought to himself we are going to die out here.

Luke's father saw the panic in his son eyes and grabbed by the shoulders an said  .  Luke  , look at me! We are going to survive this , ya hear me !!   Our God is bigger then this storm! Storms don't last forever !!! We need to pray son !

Both Luke and his father began to pray , Luke Father Prayed : Jesus! My Saviour! I thank you for the life you have given us ! We are in a bit of a pickle here ! This storm is going to kill us if you don't intervene ! Jesus , you have brought me through many storms in my life and my son Luke's life ,  I know you can save save us from this one ! In your powerful name Jesus ,AMEN!!!!

All of the sudden the storm stopped and the sky became clear.

Luke and and his Father began to jump for joy and gave praises to Jesus for saving them from the storm.

We all can relate to luke in a way , especially when we go through hard times/storms in life that seem like they wont end .

But let me tell you about a hope that has brought me through many storms in my life !

This hope's name is Jesus ! 

I have learned to lean on Jesus's understanding and not my own !

Because I usually ended failing or get lost when I cast aside Jesus's understanding  .

You maybe asking how do I lean on Jesus's understanding ? How can I trust him?

Here are the top 3 ways to lean on Jesus's understanding : 1. Read your Bible ! get into His Holy Word ! 2. Pray ! I wold not be were I am today if I did not have a prayer life ! 3. surround yourself with believers that will stand by you and pray with you !

  

 How you can trust Jesus ? By building a relationship with him!

Talk to him like a friend , like a father ! key things : Pray and Read Hid Holy Word! 

in closing here , here are some verses I want you to mediate on :

Proverbs 3:5-7 NLT

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 

6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 

7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the LORD and turn away from evil.

John 14:26-27(NLT)

26 But when the Father sends the Advocate as my representative—that is, the Holy Spirit—he will teach you everything and will remind you of everything I have told you. 27 “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.

Psalm 146:5-6 (NLT)

5 But joyful are those who have the God of Israel[a] as their helper,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.
6 He made heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them.
    He keeps every promise forever.

A VLOG ON DEPRESSION

So I thought I would share in a vlog about depression, what I am going through  , and what I think we can do to bring awareness about depression.  Here is my vlog on depression  :

 

Leemans Song Of The Week!

This weeks song is Epiphany by Staind !

I first heard Staind on local rock station and the first song I heard by Staind was "Its Been Awhile ".
I love there music , many of there songs have helped me through many storms in my life .
My favorite Staind Album is "Break The Cycle ".
Here is some info on Staind :

Staind are a Massachusetts quartet identified with the alt-metal (or nu-metal) movement. The band formed in 1995 with Aaron Lewis on vocals, Johnny April on bass, Mike Mushok on guitar, and Jon Wysocki on drums. Though Staind incorporate the harsh textures of metal in their music, the most popular Staind songs feature stripped-down, often acoustic arrangements augmented by Lewis’s sensitive lyrics about relationships and his battles with his demons.  ( source : https://www.thoughtco.com)


Here is Staind's song Epiphany !:

OUR ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

Wow ! Lydia , tomorrow it will be   year since we got married ! What?!?!

This has been an year of laughter , tears, growth , and happiness.

Lydia , in our first year of marriage there has been a bunch memories/moments that I will cherish forever .

So I thought I would share my top five moments/memories of our first year !

1.  When we first went grocery shopping at Shaw's as a married couple and you had to go down every aisle. I thought you were going to buy the whole store ! lol 

Thank you for putting up with my snarky attitude and not putting me out to pasture . lol

2.  On our honeymoon when we went to that chinese restaurant and they waiter did not warn us how big the portions were .  We had chinese food for days ! lol

3.  When you first did announcements at church , It was hilarious you trying to do Lyndsey's catch phrase. 

4.    When you decided to raise money for the homeless by selling bake goods . 

      I love your heart for the broken  and lost souls . 

5.  When you tried to make me BBQ chicken and came out horrible . The fact you tried to make one of my favorites , meant and still means the world to me.

Lydia, even in this tough season we are in , you have been strong enough for the both of us , not sure how you do it .

Lydia ,  your the most beautiful woman I could ask for .  If you look up the definition beauty, your beautiful face would be there.

Lydia , you have made me and continually are making me a better man !

Lydia your faith in Christ is amazing , keep running your race !

Lydia , can't wait to see what God has instore for the rest of our live , I am glad I get to do life with you !!!!!!  Love You So Much !!!!!!!!!!!

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever” 

― Nicholas Sparks 

         

Three Things That Are Bugging Leeman Right Now Part 2

Hey it is Leeman back with three things that are bugging me , let's get to it !

1 .  People Wanting Tim Allen's Last Man Standing Back On The Air !

So on FaceBook the other day I saw that there is chance that Tim Allen's Last Man Standing might be brought back on Fox . 
Ewww!  Why?!
I don't understand how it lasted 6 seasons ! What was so funny about this show ?
You have to a lame sense of humor or a 3rd grade education to enjoy this show !
Now I know some of you die hard Ronald Reagan idol worshipers will say it got canceled because of how conservative the show was , although it maybe true , I don't care !!
The only thing Tim Allen was ever good in was Home Improvement !
If this show comes back , it is a sign of the end times !


2.   People In WalMart Not Knowing How To Move !

One of the things I dread is going to Walmart !
The WalMart in my area somehow make people in my area forget how to move in a store with a lot of people.
A couple things that usually happens . 1. I almost crash in someone because that person is not watching were they are going .  2. Park themselves right in the middle of the aisle and have convos while blocking aisle .  3.  People making it hard for handicap people by using the motorized carts even though they are not handicapped.
Going to Walmart is always a stressful time for me , so I try not to go to WalMart if I don't have to.

3.  This Whole Kanye West Drama

I can't understand what is going on in Kanye west's head , honestly Kanye ,  are you smoking crack?
How can you say all this backward ignorant garbage ? Do you honestly believe what you are spewing ? 
You can not watch that garbage trump hat and call yourself a free thinker !
You can not be a free thinker and spew hate !
Kanye , I honestly think you have let fame get to you and you are having a mental breakdown .
Get Help!!!!!