GOING THROUGH A TOUGH SEASON

For the past 7 months I have been going through a tough season in my life , sometimes it feels like hell.

Let me give you some background on one of the toughest seasons in my life.

At the end of September of last year , after two months of clear thinking and prayer , I quit my full time job at a call center.
The main reasons why I quit that job is  :
 1.  They started to mess with my hours by saying those were not my hours and I was leaving too early .

2.  I was selling male enhancement products and the client was shady. at one point he ran out of product for almost two months, an would give us dates when the products were available and when those dates would come , no product .  Two months later the products were finally in the warehouse .
 
3.A couple of people who were at this call center for at least four months were promoted before some of us who been there longer and put more work in then them. One was promoted to human resources and one was promoted to a team lead . Now I'm not jealous of these people, good for them moving up,  It is just there was people who been there since day one that got looked over because they don't kiss up to the powers that be .

So for last seven months I have been looking for work  and it has been tough !
I have had some interviews were it looked like I was going to get the job but ends up being a dead end.
I did up getting a " part time job" at a discount retail store but I did end up quitting that job because basically it was a on call job were there would potentially be weeks without hours for me .
So I am back on the search , which I have some good leads this week .
I had interview at a local grocery store near and I should have interview with a local gas station  next week , so things are sort of looking up for me.
The reason I say sorta of  is because I have been down this road before , not that I don't have hope , It is just simply like I have stated above , It looks like I am going to get the job but then it becomes a dead end.

Now you are probably asking how I have been dealing with this tough season in my life , especially If you are close to me you are probably asking that question.

It has been a mixture of being mad at myself , being mad at the world , and being mad at God .
The reason for my anger is that I feel that like I have failed at life and wish I made  better choices before I got saved .  Don't get me twisted , I don't see myself as a victim , I 100% take responsibility for the choices I have made . 
The reason I was mad at God ( which I know some of you holly rollers are like , how dare you be mad at God and question Him) is because I thought he had called me to be as pastor or some type of minister but according to those that really close to me, allegedly God has spoken to them and  apparently I am not suppose to  be a pastor or a minster . Right now I am in place were I'm not mad at God but hurt.  I don't want to be a pastor or minster because of the attention or recognition but to lead people to Christ and I just love to speak to people on how Christ can give them freedom.
There are days were I am not sure if I want to have anything to do with ministry then I have days were I say to myself . stop acting like a child , there are other things in ministry you can do ! 

So this is were I am at right now !
I do believe at some point things will turn around because I know God has something lined up for me , I just need to keep leaning on his understanding , not my own . 
So for those like me going through a tough season like i want to leave you with some verses and encouraging quotes that are helping get through this tough season

Proverbs 3:5-7(CEV)

5 With all your heart
you must trust the Lord
    and not your own judgment.
6 Always let him lead you,
    and he will clear the road
    for you to follow.
7 Don’t ever think that you
    are wise enough,
    but respect the Lord

    and stay away from evil.. 

Psalm 34:17-18 (CEV)

17 When his people pray for help,
    he listens and rescues them
    from their troubles.
18 The Lord is there to rescue
all
    who are discouraged
    and have given up hope.

Isaiah 40:28-31  (CEV)

28 Don’t you know?
    Haven’t you heard?
The Lord is the eternal God,
    Creator of the earth.
He never gets weary or tired;
his wisdom cannot be measured.

29 The Lord gives strength
    to those who are weary.
30 Even young people get tired,
    then stumble and fall.
31 But those who trust the Lord
    will find new strength.
They will be strong like eagles
    soaring upward on wings;
they will walk and run
    without getting tired.

Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines. ~ Robert Schuller

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. ~ Martin Luther King

God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them. ~ C.S. Lewis

The Bible is God’s chart for you to steer by, to keep you from the bottom of the sea, and to show you where the harbor is, and how to reach it without running on rocks or bars. ~ Henry Ward Beecher