LEEMAN'S TOP 20 SONGS OF 2018

Hey you guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Leeman here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is time for Leeman's annual Top Twenty Songs of the year!

2018 was a great year of music , so let's get this party started !!!!!!


20. Torn In Two By Breaking Benjamin

Breaking Benjamin put out  their Ember album in 2018 , an Torn In Two is my favorite song off Ember.
Breaking Benjamin knows the perfect recipe for a great hard rock album.
Here is Torn In Two By Breaking Benjamin :

19. Zombies By Bad Wolves

In my opinion this cover , is the cover song of the year  !

 Bad Wolves did justice to Zombies by The Cranberries, they really did.

Here is Zombies By Bad Wolves :

 

18. Boo'd Up By Ella Mai

I love Ella Mai !!!

She is making pop and R&B fun again !

In 2019 , I can't wait to see what music Ella Mai puts out !

Here is Ell Mai's Boo'd Up :

17. No Chains By KB

KB is so dope ! 

Lately KB has been putting out  fire track's, keep them coming KB! I see you sir!

Here KB's Song No Chains:

16. Not To Us/Good Love By Steven Malcolm

Not To Us/Good Love has by go to song to cheer me up when I am sad .

How can you not smile and want to dance to this song !

Here is Not To Us/Good Love By Steven Malcolm:

15. If You Want Love By NF

NF is one of most realest rappers out here today!

NF just leaves his heart and soul in his music, so refreshing to see.

Here is NF's If You Want Love :

14.  Born Again By Cory Asbury

This song has blessed with the storms in my life I had this year .

I would love to see Cory Asbury live in 2019.

Here is Cory Asbury's Born Again :

 

13.  The UnKnown By Our Mirage

Our Mirage is a band I discovered through youtube , LOVE THEM!!!!!

This Song is so good and the music video for this song is sick.

Here is The UnKnown By Our Mirage:

12. We Came To Play By Tedashii Feat. Canon 

This is the best song of 2018 to workout to !!!!

I love Tedashii and Canon , both make great music !

Here is We Came To Play By Tedashii Feat. Canon:

11. Caterpillar By Royce Da 5'9" Feat. Eminem and King Green

This song is freaking bananas yo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Royce is just phenomenal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

An Eminem killed it on this song to!!

Here is  Caterpillar By Royce Da 5'9" Feat. Eminem and King Green:

  

10. Window To The Soul By Styles P

Styles P is one of the greatest rappers of all time !

Window To The Souls is my favorite track of G-Host.

Here is Window To The Soul By Styles P:

9. Lucky You By Eminem Feat Joyner Lucas 

I don't care what any fool says, Eminem is a Rap God!!

Eminem and Joyner killed this beat , They need to do a collab album.

Here is Lucky You By Eminem Feat. Joyner Lucas:

 

8. ATM By J Cole 

J Cole is on another level !!!!

J Cole will be a legend within the next 5 years , bank on that !!!

Here is J Cole's ATM:

7. Disillusioned By A Perfect Circle

Love the message of this song !

A Perfect Circle is one the the greatest alternative rock bands ever.

Here is A Perfect Circle's Disillusioned :

  

6.  What's Free? Meek Mill Feat Rick Ross and Jay-Z

Good to here new music from Meek Mill !

Meek Mill is going run 2019 , bank on that sir !!!

Here is What's Free? By Meek Mill Feat. Rick Ross and Jay-Z

5. KillShot By Eminem 

Eminem murdered MGLame on this track!!!!!

I'll never understand how mc's think it is smart to try to battle Eminem.

Here is Eminem 's KillShot :

4. Lesson Learned By Wu-Tang feat . RedMan and Inspectah Deck

 Wu-Tang showed they still have it ! 

Heres Wu-Tangs Lesson Learned :

3. Here Again By Elevation Worship

In my opinion this is the worship song of the year !!

I love Elevation Worship !!!!!!!

Here is Elevation Worship's, Here Again :

   

2.  Adam And Eve By Nas And The-Dream

Nas is just goes off in this song , this real hip hop !!!

Here is Nas and The-Dream's , Adam and Eve:

1. Get Back Right By Lecrae & Zaytoven

This song is straight fire !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love their whole project !

Here is Get Back Right By Lecrae & Zaytoven

LEEMAN'S SONG OF THE WEEK !

I am back with Leeman's Song Of The Week !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This week's song is from one of my favorite bands , Trapt .
The first song I heard from them was HeadStrong , I had that song on repeat when I was teenager.
So with that said here is Trapt's song "Walls" :

Motivational Monday ! 12/31/2018

Hey everyone !!!!! Leeman here !

So like I said in my New Years blog, every monday I will be sharing a motivational video.
I want to help you beat those monday blues with a motivational boost!
So here is a motivational video by motivational speaker Trent Shelton !
Please check out his other spoken words and other videos !

LEEMAN'S NEW YEAR GOALS AND WERE LEEMAN'S SPOT IS HEADING IN 2019

Hey guys !!!! Leeman here !!!!!

So I will be sharing with you my new year goals and were this blog is going in 2019.

Let's start with my new year goals , first , let me explained what I mean by goals.
We all know with new year resolutions that most of us give up on them usually after the first 2 weeks or at most the first month.
So what I do when it comes to new year , I set goals that I know won't overwhelm me and that I attain.
Now that does not mean my goals are easy but they are also not impossible for me to reach .
So here is my three goals for 2019:

1. Lose 50 pounds

So far in 2018,  I have made small dent in my progress towards a healthier me , I have lost twenty pounds.
Last three months I have been struggling with my migraines and to be honest I have let my battle with depression get in the way of me going to the gym.
I think I found a pill that is helping with my migraines , so hopefully my migraines won't be a hindrance on me working out and being active .
I will not let my depression or life situations stop me from working out in 2019.
I will be doing more Healthier Me blog entries.

2. Get My Drivers License

Next month on the 27th is my born day and I will be turning thirty.
An I still don't have license and I am turning thirty , this will change in 2019.
I have let fear get in the way of me getting my license because of my learning disability.
I need stop letting my learning disability think for me and define me.
I want to be able to take my wife for drive just because and in order to do that i need to get my license this year.
To be honest I am nervous about getting my license  this year but with the support of my family , my friends , and putting my faith in God , I can and will get my license this year .


3.  Blog More And Work On My Book 

I have a passion for writing and blogging , unfortunately I have let my depression and other peoples opinions get in the way of me blogging and working on my sci fi /fantasy book.
In 2019 , I will be working on blogging more , in the next part this blog entry I will sharing what is next for Leeman's Spot .
Concerning my book, I will working on getting that off the ground and maybe finished it this year.

WHAT IS NEXT FOR LEEMAN'S SPOT IN 2019

          

Here is what I will be doing in 2019 with Leeman's spot :

1.  I will be doing some vlogs on topics I feel need to be talked about .

2. I will be doing wrestling reviews , ex : WWE, The Indies, and etc. Also I will do blog entries on my favorite wrestlers and tag teams. 

3. I will be also doing movie and tv reviews also .

4.  There motivational video of the week blog entry every monday. I will share a sermon , a spoken word , or a short video from a motivational speaker.

Those are 4 big changes I can't wait for ya'll to enjoy !

I leave you with this New Year's Quote:

“In the New Year, never forget to thank to your past years because they enabled you to reach today! Without the stairs of the past, you cannot arrive at the future!” 

― Mehmet Murat ildan 

DEPRESSION DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE OR OWN YOU

Hey everyone , Leeman here ! Now that I have some time to blog , I wanted to talk about my battle with depression.

Before I really get into this , just want to let you know what this blog entry is about, fyi: my blog entry about my battle about depression will not be:

 1. I am not throwing myself nor do I want a  pity party.

 2. I'm going to be blunt and will probably offend you but not intentionally.

 3.  I refuse to give ignorant stereotypical Christian answers or thought when it comes to the topic of depression.

So with that out of the way , lets have a real talk about depression!

I know I have blogged about depression and my battle with depression before, but his time around I want to come at this topic at a different angle .

Since 9/29/2017, I have been battling a dark depression that I have let define me and own me.

 I let my past decisions and peoples opinions about me or who am I suppose to be or not be, define and own me.  

About 2 Sundays ago a gentleman prayed for me at a church , there were some chains were broken that day.

Then that tuesday I got fired because I missed too many days of work . 

I don't have to explain myself but the reason I missed so many is because I have suffering with extremely bad migraines.  I am working with my DR to get a diagnosis and for now looking for part time work .

Did I get upset ? did I cry? did I ask God why me ? YES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But his time I dealt with it and let myself feel!  I HAVE NEVER FELT SO MUCH PEACE AND FREEDOM!

So here is what I really want to get across to ya'll and encourage ya'll with............................................

  DEPRESSION DOES NOT HAVE TO DEFINE OR OWN YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Me keeping it 100, I have a issues that I need to work and I will be going to therapy.

With that said,  I REFUSE TO LET DEPRESSION DEFINE AND OWN ME ANY MORE!

Again keeping it 100, dealing with depression or any mental illness , there is no quick fix for depression . 

Yes I do believe that Jesus can 100% heal people of depression , please believe know that. 

But the bible does say will go through trials in our life , examples: 

I have been through many trials and tribulations in my short life but Jesus has pulled me through those tough times . 

Have I doubted him ? yes , but  I did not let those doubts/lies from the devil become fully grown tumors in my mind and soul.  When you do let those doubts and lies grow, its a sad dark place to be in and can be lead to a darker depression .

Here are 3 things that help when I am depressed :

1.Find someone to confide in , someone safe and trustworthy.  

If possible, find someone that you trust and respect that can be your ear to vent to but also someone who will step in if you need further help and can't help yourself. 

I am blessed that I have my wife lydia, she has been my lighthouse in dark times.

2.  Therapy

Therapy can help undo the damage that depression has caused and fins the direct root on why you get depressed.

Therapy can also give you healthy tool's to deal with your depression.

This is just my opinion  , Christian counseling is not always the best option , especially if the Christian counselor/therapist  or pastor has wrong or unhealthy view of mental health .  

When choosing a counselor or a therapist , make sure you are upfront on what you need and don't need.   

3.  Make a music playlist that reminds of good memories.

Music has helped get through a lot of tough times in my life . 

I like to listen to worship music , Stevie Wonder , boy bands , or 90's hip hop when I am depressed. 

Trust music can be very healing.

In closing,  you will beat this depression and you can live a happy life !

DON'T LET YOUR DEPRESSION DEFINE YOU OR OWN YOU !

A TOUGH SEASON

What is up guys !!!!!!

It has been 3 months since my last blog entry and I have missed blogging,

I have been busy with my job , life , and dealing with depression, so it is has been hard to blog but i am going to try to fit blogging once or twice a week in my life . 

So I thought I would give insight on the tough season I having been facing the lately , so let's dive in!

So if you have  read previous blogs you know that back in september of last year I went to a " ag pastors conference " and was told I was told in so many words that I was not called to be a pastor,

This incident started my path to depression.

 I have come to terms that I am not called to be a pastor , I am really okay with that and I really don't have the desire to be a pastor anymore.

My questions to God has been , how do I fit into your Kingdom ? Do I fit into your Kingdom Lord ?

 I am a really saved ? 

To keep it 100,  God has not answered those questions.

My faith is on empty and To keep it 100, I have not felt this way before .

So I ask those have been saved for a long time and those whose faith is deep rooted , to keep me in your prayers .

My dad had a health scare recently and bunch of drama has manifested it self , so that has been stressful and tiring. 

Even with that stress , I know that can only control my reaction and choices I make during this tough time .

On a positive note,  I'm doing okay at my job , starting to get a hang of the job.    

I have lost 15 pounds ! I'm really proud of my weight loss progress and can't wait to see more progress. 

My Wife and I finally got a 1st floor apt , here in Maine , especially in the winter , a first floor apt is ideal .

Well that is all I have to say for now , I hope to blog more in the coming week, LOVE YA'LL !!!!!!!! 

A UPDATE ON ME AND WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH

It has been a month since my last blog entry and lot has changed !!

If you don't know ,  Last month I got hired full time at a TD Bank call center and have been in training for the last month , I have 3 weeks more weeks of training left.

It is going really good , at this job I actually feel valued . 

Though my new job is going good , I have been going through a tough season/spiritual battle.

I got to keep it 100 , My Relationship With God is not great right now..

That is really hard for me to admit because I feel I have to keep a mask on because I am a leader in my Church, even though I don't have to . 

Let me give you some backstory on how I got to the space I am in right now .

Back in September of last year , I went to a " ministers conference" with my pastor and after the first night of that " minister conference" , I got asked a question by a former bible college mate of mine, This question and the aftermath after that has crushed my soul and confidence.

The question I was asked , what have you done with your call ? 

Only thing I could say was , not much , i guess . 

Then he said , you really need to think about. that .

My pastor started to talk about it on the ride back , the convo went to maybe I was not called to be a pastor.  

As soon I got home my wife gave me hug and I immediately balled by eyes out , it felt like a part of me died that night .

Then the following week i went to a basketball game at my pastors apt and to talk  about my calling with a former pastor . 

Thought I might get some answers but I left more confused and angry at God . 

Disclaimer: I love my pastor and I really appreciate his honesty . 

So I am in place were I am doubting  God's wisdom , I am angry with God , and not sure if I can trust God again.  

I afraid to dream or go after any of my dreams because I am afraid God will crush them, just like he did with what I thought was my calling in life .

I have come to terms I will never become a pastor or never preach again , I mean have to when God used my wife, my pastor , my college mate , and my mother in law that they see I am not meant to be a pastor. 

But in another way , I have not come to terms that I am not called to be a pastor . 

It is like trying to forget a bad memory but no matter what you do it never goes away.

The space I am right know is a son angry with his heavenly his father , Honestly God has broke my heart and soul .  

I have been taking time in the last 9 months to sit in silence to see if God would speak to me and let me know why I am not called to be a pastor and why at the bible camp altar call when I was 16, I thought I heard him call to be a pastor , but no answer .

We did a 3 week fast my church and I fasted social media , I really seeked God but no answer .

I don't want anyone's pity or any advice , this is me venting my anger and sadness .

I am going to be looking into a Christian counseling , because as much I try , I can't let this hurt go .

So in closing, I know this season / battle won't last forever but I wish this season/battle never happened.

Tough times never last, but tough people do. Robert H. Schuller